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hey this is Leo for actualised org and in this video I want to talk about how to love yourself alright let's talk about this how to love yourself and no I'm not talking about that kind of love you pervert I'm talking about how to really how to be satisfied with yourself you know how to like yourself how do you be comfortable with who you are as you are because we're not perfect right and some of us are less perfect than others or at least we might think that you are probably thinking about that right now if you feel like you don't love yourself then you probably feel like you're not as good as other people you're not as good as you could be whether that's because you don't like the way you look there's something about your looks or something about your health something about your physique in general or something about your behaviors something about how you feel something about your tendencies or you know angry patterns that you have or negative thinking habits that you have or maybe even some of the circumstances that you have in your life for example maybe you don't like the kind of career situation that you're in or the relationship that you're in and because of that you can't love yourself well here's here's a scoop on that you know it's not always easy to like yourself and you know for some people it is harder than for others you know for me personally I've always been insecure about my looks and every time I look in the mirror I would always find something to nitpick about something to nitpick about they didn't like some way I could be better always criticizing myself kind of holding myself down comparing myself to other people it's hard to get there right hard to get there so sometimes it'll take some work it'll take some real inner work to start to understand that you can be comfortable with who you are you can be very happy with who you are even if you've got imperfections and other people can be happy with how you are even if you have various imperfections especially physical imperfections right that's especially something that most people actually don't judge you for as much as you judge yourself for that's something that's really coming more from you because when you're comfortable with being who you are other people they'll just kind of vibe with that and they'll resonate with it and usually stuff will go well but what really hurts is when you're insecure about your own flaws and imperfections and then you're constantly kind of expecting other people to be judging you for it and then what you expect you actually kind of find and the reason that is that it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy you kind of just manifest it so if you don't like yourself then ask yourself the following question do you really not like yourself or do you not like an aspect of yourself big difference right is it you all of you that you don't like or just an aspect I bet it's just an aspect so if that's the case first of all realize how much you're focusing on it right and I want you to take that camera that you have right now and you're totally zoomed in on this one imperfection that you have you're totally zoomed in on it I want you to zoom out and see yourself and your whole life and the whole history that you have of your life and where you're going see all of that and put that in perfection that one imperfection is a context right it's still there I'm not denying it might not be there maybe you have some crooked teeth or you have a big nose or you have a fat ass or whatever or maybe you have some you know character flaws in you not physical problems but character flaws and you don't like yourself for those reasons okay let's admit that there let's say that it's true it's there well that's that's one aspect of a much bigger picture so first of all realize that that's the case and if that is the case then also realize this point is that you have a choice of what you focus on you've got this you've got this like laser beam in your mind which is your focus right your awareness and this laser beam it's it's consciously guided by you not all the time but you can guide it and so if you're always hating on yourself then what you're doing is you're taking your imperfections and you're always like shining a magnifying glass over it so that's what's happening you're shining this magnifying glass on your imperfections sometimes all you do is you just stare at them all day right and that's why you feel so bad about yourself sometimes because you stare at those imperfections ceaselessly well if you've got an imperfection there's you only got two choices either you're going to fix it either you can change it or you can't now go out there and try to change it if you can I mean that's what I'm all about I'm giving you a lot of advice and stuff with all my videos about you know how to put your life into place may actually make it really good objectively good but if you can't change it may be like your physical appearance you can't you feel like you can't change it or you don't really want to go that far then that's fine you can then learn to accept it in the sense that you're going to shift your focus away you're going to kind of accept it and not look at it anymore stop looking at it because it's the cost of looking at it and the relooking and the relooking and the relooking that is that's really killing you you're going to start to focus on other areas of your life that are great and what you're going to realize when you make that shift is you're going to realize that well that little imperfection it's not that important anymore and then maybe a couple of years down the road you will actually laugh you will laugh because you'll laugh and say how could I have possibly been so concerned about that it's so insignificant now because I've got all this other awesome stuff flourishing my life I have an exercise for you all right this is an exercise that you got to do to start to love yourself you have to start to love yourself unconditionally right unconditional love for yourself that means no matter what you did what you're thinking who you are you still love you you still think you're the greatest person on earth not in some sort of arrogant conceited way but because I mean you're all you got really you are you you're the most important thing to you and if you don't like you if you don't love you then you can't be resourceful out in the world you can't do a lot of good for others in the world you can't really have a powerful life in fact you're probably going to cause a lot of misery and pain for other people not only yourself because it tends to just spread it's contagious the negativity you feel about yourself is going to be negativity that will spread into all your relationships and everyone you come into contact with so here's the exercise I want you to go after this video is done finish watching it but then go and look in your bathroom mirror get really really close to the mirror so almost your nose is up to it and really have a good look at you have a good look at yourself look yourself straight in the eyes and look at your face and really take all that in and as you're doing that don't be tempted to judge yourself just look at yourself look at yourself face to face in the mirror and tell yourself the following I love and accept you exactly as you are I love and accept you exactly as you are and you're saying that to yourself right you're saying it to yourself just the way that I said it to you right now and I want you to say to yourself 20 times 20 times in a row say it to yourself and really believe it believe it as you're saying to yourself now you might be looking at yourself and you might not like how your face looks you might notice a freckle or a pimple you might notice a crooked tooth you might notice some hair missing like I do when I look in the mirror right you might notice whatever or you might think of something bad you did or you might think about some character flaw that you have as you're looking yourself straight in the eyes and that's exactly the moment that I want you to say that I love and accept you exactly as you are for that particular trait for that particular problem for all of you despite that trait you still accept yourself you still love yourself because you are so much more than that one trait and you are more than your current personality you are more than your current character flaws you are more than your past and some of the bad things you might have done and that you can you can change all that and you can also accept it and make issues you don't even need to change anything you can just accept it as it is so go ahead and do that exercise and see how you feel it'll probably make you feel a little weird at first it'll make you feel weird because it's so it's so unconventional right it seems very selfish it might also shock you because you might realize for the first time in your life just how much you've been criticizing yourself and how how tough you are on yourself you might notice that you can't even say the words or that you hesitate maybe there's a whole two seconds of hesitation maybe you have to muster every nerve in your body just say it and not even crack up or maybe it'll just be like a fraction a millisecond of hesitation maybe you actually think that you're you're pretty and that you're beautiful maybe you think that you're already pretty awesome and yet you go and you do this exercise and all of a sudden you realize wow why did I hesitate for a you know a hair line of a second why did I hesitate and then ask yourself why did you hesitate why isn't that automatic for you you might learn something important there and then say it anyways force yourself just say it say it say it say it's gonna be more natural than where you say it alright so to love yourself you might ask yourself well how does that reconcile with being better you know what if my character I do have character flaws and my personality does suck or there's ways that I can improve you know what if I could go and get a nose job and reduce the size my nose what if I get a boob job what if I can go get some liposuction what if I can remove that people who have freckle or what if I can change my diet and then improve myself in that way or whatever it is right stop being fat whatever go to the gym more maybe get a better job you know whatever it is even like about yourself shouldn't you try to improve it so this is kind of a classic paradox of self-help is this this kind of this split between on the one hand you have to accept yourself and love yourself on the other hand you have to develop yourself and grow yourself so a lot of times most of my videos are actually on the growing part and I'll actually criticize you make you feel bad about how how horribly you're living your life how ugly your life is I'll make you feel bad about that because sometimes that's necessary to get a little bit of that emotional leverage to start to move forward but also sometimes it's the opposite some people have the opposite problem is that they're so hard on themselves all the time that their problem is not that they need to really get better their problems that they just need to accept themselves that's how they get better that is an improvement in and of itself so really it is a paradox it's hard sometimes it's even hard for me to reconcile and draw the line exactly you know how to walk that line between self-acceptance and self-development but the fact is for now just accept it as a kind of paradox and tell yourself that really you're going to be blending both they're not contradictory you're blending both and that this is not an excuse for you to now be an this is not an excuse for you to be lazy this is not excuse for you to say well nothing can be done I'm not responsible for anything it's not excuse for you to play the victim this is excuse for you to love yourself and accept yourself and yet you're still going to be developing yourself a lot right accept yourself right now in the moment as you are but you can develop yourself you can change some of the aspects of yourself that's what I love about life is that you can do that that we have this because for me it's very easy to matter in a reality where that wasn't possible where we were just kind of born and we were who we are and we couldn't really change anything until death and then it was too late and basically our life would have been kind of like a train running on one track well what's nice about reality that it doesn't just work that way and that really we can go in any direction we want we're not a plane we're not a train running on a track we're more like a helicopter you get a helicopter fly anywhere you want that's more what life is like you have a lot of freedom of choice there and so that's that's open for you these are the possibilities but right now who you are except that too and also ask yourself you know who are you really who do you think you are are you your body are you your imperfection are you that problem that you have in your life or are you something greater are you something bigger are you something and I hesitate to use this word without qualification more spiritual you have a higher self that you're living up to right start to start to expand your your limited view of yourself and what if you could absolutely love yourself exactly as you are without needing to change a single thing do you think that's possible what do you think is holding you back from that do you think it's your girlfriend or boyfriend do you think it's your boss do you think it's your mom or your dad some mean friend that calls you names do you think that is what's holding you back from accepting yourself or do you think it's just a decision like that just like a split second decision where you just decide inside that I'm going to accept myself right now as I am exactly as I am it it's just that it's a split-second decision inside you then nobody can firm at you from doing from making that decision except yourself and right now I'm giving you permission give yourself permission to forgive yourself for any imperfections you've had any flaws anything you've done everything you don't like about your life and just accept it and know that you're going to work from this place you're not going to be a lazy slug you're not going to be complacent you're not going to turn and become mediocre no you're going to use this as a foundation to build upon right you're going to build from a foundation of okay I already love myself I accept myself I'm awesome now I'm going to become awesome ur an awesome ur an awesome R and every day I become more and more awesome right it's absolutely possible absolutely possible for you to completely love yourself completely accept yourself the only thing that's holding you back is some perhaps limiting belief that you've have lack of even making this decision lack of awareness all these things are mindsets ultimately it's happening in here in your head and that's something that is fairly straightforward to work with all right so go do that exercise and really take what I told you here to heart because if you hate yourself if you're always criticizing yourself then you cannot be resourceful in the world and you cannot really share your gifts with us you cannot share your gifts and relationships nor in your career or anything else that you do because you're going to be constantly miserable when you're happy from the inside happiness will flow from you and you will be able to go out there and create the things that you want to create alright this is Leo I'm signing off go ahead post me your comments down below please like this and share it click the like button right now if you would and go ahead and check out actualize that org sign up to our free newsletter there where I release new exclusive videos articles other goodies that I'm have planned for you guys I'm going to releasing really soon sign up for that so you get them all for free constantly updating you with that stuff the reason that you really want to sign up not for the newsletter or the awesome bonuses that we've got which are all free but ultimately it's because you need to stay on top of right if you have a problem with loving yourself then which you've ultimately got is you've got an inner problem you've got a problem with beliefs with mindsets lack of control and awareness around your own mind your own thoughts your own emotions and that's that's something that can hold you back in life so much that kind of stuff has held me back for a long time that's why I found it actualized already is that I could find the answers and when I found them for myself share them with others like you so that you can get rid of all the mental blocks that are holding you back from living an extraordinary life and accomplishing all your dreams and having everything you want in your life and most importantly feeling fulfilled on the inside feeling peaceful and calm and happy on the inside so there's actually a lot to this process I think the most important thing is for me to get you guys to buy in not to buy into my product but to buy into the idea that you should be learning and developing yourself from the inside out and if you want to help with that and if you want strategies and techniques and like some of the best literally the best information that I found by bigging through hundreds of books going to expensive expensive seminars processing thousands of dollars of personal development irreal and pick up the golden nuggets and making sense of it for myself if you want that you can get it all for free at actualize that org by just subscribing so go ahead and check that out you